Money Like A Woman: The five pillars for building a stronger financial life

We’ve all heard stories about the challenges women face with money: We earn less than men thanks to a frustrating gender wage gap that not only won’t budge but is headed in the wrong direction.  We take career breaks to care for our kids and older parents, which puts us behind when it comes to money in our retirement accounts and Social Security credits. We don’t negotiate for higher pay as often as men do. Then we have to take that smaller sum and make it last longer because women, on average, live longer than men do. The list goes on.

Those realities absolutely matter, and we should talk about them — but they don’t tell the whole story. When we look only at the obstacles women face, we miss something hugely important: Women bring tremendous strengths to our financial lives, too.

We plan. We prepare. We ask questions. Perhaps most importantly, we understand instinctively that money isn’t just numbers in a spreadsheet — it’s connected to our families, our security, and to the lives we most want to build. And when we have the resources and support that we need, our strengths are there to help us build financial confidence and, ultimately, financial independence.

That’s the exact idea behind Money Like A Woman. We’re starting a new conversation from a place of empowerment, and asking: “What are women already doing well — and how can we build on that?”

From that question, Five Pillars were born. When woven together, these Five Pillars create a framework for building a financial life that is wealthier, more resilient, and more connected to the things that matter most to you. We hope you’ll come back to them as you learn and grow alongside us, and we would love for you to join our community where we’re sharing weekly insights on how to Money Like A Woman. Click here to empower your inbox.

Here’s a look at the Five Pillars plus our take on what they mean to us, why they matter, and most importantly, what they can do for you.

Pillar 1: Build Financial Confidence & Independence

Develop the knowledge, skills, and mindset needed to make informed financial decisions and create greater freedom, security, and opportunity.

Financial confidence doesn’t mean knowing everything about money. (Because guess what: Nobody does!) It means being willing to ask questions when you don’t understand something. This can mean looking at your numbers (ahem, like how fast your savings are accumulating, whether you’re getting a competitive rate when you borrow) rather than avoiding them.

The important thing is that you understand one of the most powerful financial sentences anyone can say is simply: “I don’t understand this yet. Can you explain it to me?”

Learning is hands down the best way for us to build lasting confidence with money.

Understanding Money + Emotions

Financial confidence also comes from understanding that we all have a money personality and that it has two important parts.

There’s your money history, which is essentially what you absorbed about money growing up.  It doesn’t define you, but unless you take a beat to figure out how it’s impacting you to this day, it’s hard to avoid its impact.

Maybe money was scarce when you were growing up, and spending still makes you nervous, even when you know you can afford to treat yourself. Or maybe money was a taboo topic in a past relationship, so now you’re reluctant to talk openly with friends about your goals. The emotions this history creates aren’t character flaws — they’re information.

Part two is how you’re wired. We each came out of the womb with certain innate traits that also shape our money behavior.  Combined, they make up our money personality.

The point is that you need to know who you really are with money. You need to know your MoneyType.  Think of it as your love language, but with money.  Our proprietary tool, developed by a social scientist with a PhD in archetypes, can show you yours — so take the complimentary quiz here.

Over a hundred thousand women have learned their MoneyType, and they tell us they feel “seen.” Why? Because financial confidence will come more easily when we learn how to work alongside our emotions around money, rather than trying to change overnight.

Independence Is About Having Choices

Yes, financial independence can mean being independently wealthy or never having to rely on another person… but in the context of the Five Pillars, it means understanding your financial life well enough that you can participate in it fully — and joyfully!

To us, someone who is financially independent understands what they earn, what they own, what they owe (and, okay, what their credit score is.) They know what their major financial goals are — and are plotting a path to get there.  They understand that the plan may need tweaking along the way, but that’s fine; they’re dialed in.  And they know their money can give them the ability to leave a job or relationship that isn’t right for them, to retire, or to buy a house. Financial independence means options. And options mean freedom.

Growing Your Income Is Part of the Equation

We can’t talk about financial independence without talking about earning power. (Yes, saving money is important, but earning enough money to facilitate that is the engine that makes it possible.) In other words, career development is truly a financial skill

Those of us who Money Like A Woman aren’t afraid to assess if we’re growing in our careers, and negotiate for more pay and better benefits when we deserve it, or whenever it’s time to change jobs.

Pillar #1 Takeaways

• Don’t wait until you feel like a “money person” to take ownership of your finances. Start exactly where you are and ask the questions you’ve been afraid will sound silly.
• Look at that account you’ve been ignoring.
• Make a plan to negotiate your salary.
• When something about money makes you uncomfortable, get curious about why. (Knowing your MoneyType will help!)

Pillar 2: Spend, Borrow & Plan with Intention

Make everyday financial decisions thoughtfully, aligning spending, borrowing, budgeting, and planning with personal values and long-term goals.

Yes, money is meant to support our lives — but some of that support should absolutely come in the form of fun, in other words, things you want and not just need. The trick is making sure that the way we’re using our money today isn’t getting in the way of what we need tomorrow. That’s where thoughtfulness and intention come in.

Budget Is A Verb

A budget is simply a plan for making sure your money gets to the things that matter most to you. In other words, instead of getting to the end of the month and asking, “Where did all my money go?” we want you to be able to say, “I know exactly where my money went — because I sent it there!”

In order to do that, you need to prioritize. What are the things you really want? A comfortable retirement, a house, a fabulous trip every year? Those goals deserve a line in your budget just as much as your mortgage, groceries, and electric bill do.

That’s why we’re such big fans of paying yourself first, or, as it’s also known, “Backwards Budgeting.” When you automatically move money to fund savings, investments, retirement, or other important goals before you can spend it, you’re essentially telling your future self: I’ve got you.

Then you can enjoy what’s left. Seriously!

Spend On What You Value

There is no universally “right” way to spend money.  But you should make sure your spending lines up with the things you value.

Sometimes we spend because we’re stressed, bored, trying to keep up with friends’ lavish lifestyles, or plain old just not paying attention? When we Money Like a Woman, we want our spending to look like the life we say we want. So, if you’re saying you want a new car, but you’re spending way too much on, say, gel nails every month, there’s a mismatch that you’ve got to unpack.

Someone who is spending true to her goals is almost always on track to meet them!

Borrowing Isn’t Automatically Bad

Debt is a financial tool. And just like any other tool, what matters is how we use it.

For example, if you’re thoughtfully borrowing for a home, an education, or a business, you’re creating opportunities… but if you’re putting everything on a credit card (and not paying it off every month) that’s a very different story.

Before you borrow, you need to know exactly what you’re signing up for: What’s the interest rate? Is it fixed or variable? What’s the monthly payment? How much will you repay in total? And what happens if your income changes?

Most importantly, ask yourself one of our favorite questions: Can I actually afford this purchase — or can I barely even afford the payment?

Those are two very different things!

Don’t Forget About Your Credit

Good credit can help you qualify for better interest rates when you borrow, which can save you thousands of dollars over the life of a loan. When it comes to big loans for cars and mortgages, the savings can climb into the tens of thousands.

Taking care of your credit doesn’t have to be a part-time job. It involves a few simple habits, often repeated: Pay your bills on time, keep your credit card balances below 30% of your credit limits, and review your credit reports regularly, and you’ll be well on your way to a better score.

Pillar #2 Takeaways

• Give your money a destination before it has the chance to disappear.
• Spend more on the things you truly value and look for opportunities to spend less on the things you don’t.
• Before taking on debt, look beyond the monthly payment to the total cost.

Pillar 3: Build & Grow Wealth

Create long-term financial security through saving, investing, and consistently making decisions that strengthen your future.

For most of us, building wealth isn’t going to involve inheriting millions or making one brilliant financial move at exactly the right moment — it’s going to happen one retirement contribution, one automatic investment at a time.  Sounds boring, but boring can be beautiful! Those of us who Money Like A Woman understand that we don’t need to be the smartest person in the room to become successful investors, we need a plan we understand and the patience to stick with it.

A good plan starts with having both savings and investing accounts. You may sometimes hear people talk about “savings” accounts and “investing” accounts as if they’re interchangeable, but they’re actually doing two very different things for our money.

Savings is where we keep money that needs to stay safe and accessible. This could be your emergency fund, or that down payment you’re planning to use relatively soon. Investing, on the other hand, is where we can put money that has time to grow — and time to recover when markets inevitably have a bad year.

And everyone needs both. Yes, investing comes with risk. But keeping all of our long-term money in a savings account carries risk, too. What you’re bringing in doesn’t typically keep pace with taxes and inflation (which eats away at our purchasing power, so that over time the same dollar buys us less).  You need at least some of your money to have the opportunity to grow faster than prices rise.

The goal isn’t to avoid risk completely. (Spoiler alert: Not possible.) It’s to understand the risks you’re taking and make sure they line up with your goals and timeline.

Time Is Your Investing Superpower

If you’ve ever looked at a compound-interest calculator, then you know where we’re going with this.

When your investments earn money, those earnings have the opportunity to earn money, too. (Then those earnings can potentially generate more earnings. Give that cycle a few decades, and the results can be pretty incredible!) What that means is that time is the biggest advantage an investor can have.

One of the easiest ways to put that time to work? Automate your investments. Set up recurring contributions so that money gets invested without you having to think about it every month. And when your income goes up, consider increasing those contributions, too.

And if you didn’t get started in your 20s, there is absolutely no return on beating yourself up about what you didn’t do. There’s no time like the present!

Your Benefits Are Part of Your Paycheck

Do you have retirement benefits through work? If your employer offers a match, find out exactly what you need to contribute to get every dollar you’re entitled to. And don’t just stop at retirement. You may have access to a health savings account, a flexible spending account, employee stock purchase programs, education benefits, and other workplace perks, which can all be worth real money. Learn what’s available to you — and use it!

Pillar #3 Takeaways

• Save money you’ll need in the short term and invest money you’re amassing for the long term.
• If you haven’t started investing yet, start now.
• Learn what you own and why you own it.
• Automate your investments when possible and consider increasing the amount you put into them every time your income rises.
• Know your workplace benefits — especially whether you’re getting your full employer retirement match.
• Remember that investing doesn’t have to be exciting to be effective.

Pillar 4: Protect What Matters

Prepare for life’s uncertainties by building safeguards that protect yourself, your family, and your future.

Jobs disappear. Cars break down. Roofs leak. And sadly, people we love leave us much too soon.  Unfortunately, we can’t prepare for absolutely everything, but we can make ourselves much (much!) harder to knock down by preparing in advance.

Your first (and maybe best) financial shock absorber is a well-stocked emergency fund.

An emergency fund is the thing that prevents an unexpected expense from turning into a full-blown financial crisis. If you have one, when the car needs a $1,200 repair, you can use cash to pay for it instead of a credit card.  If you lose your job, you have some time to figure out your next move before the bills start dictating your choices.

How much you should have depends on your situation. On average, experts recommend having three to six months’ worth of essential living expenses saved. But someone with a steady paycheck and a working spouse will need a different cushion than a single parent whose income varies from month to month. Don’t let the “perfect” emergency fund number stop you from building something. Start with $500, then work your way up to $1,000 and see if you can get to a point where you have one month of your expenses covered. Build from there.

Insurance: For the Things You Can’t Afford to Handle Alone

Insurance is one of the only things we buy, hoping that we’ll never get our money’s worth.

Health insurance helps protect us from potentially enormous medical bills. Auto, homeowners, and renters insurance help protect our property and shield us from certain liabilities. Disability insurance can help replace some of our income if we’re unable to work, and life insurance can provide protection for the people we love if we’re no longer there. (In this way, life insurance is key for people with dependents. Disability coverage is more important for singles and one-income families.) If it’s been a while since you looked at your coverage — or if your life changed in a way that means your needs for insurance have increased — it’s time to reassess.

Fighting Fraud

Unfortunately, scammers have fully embraced technology and AI, and they’re getting increasingly clever. They can spoof phone numbers, impersonate people and institutions we trust, make emails, texts, and voices seem remarkably real.

One thing we’ve come to understand about them is that they thrive on urgency, panic, and carelessness. Their goal is to get us to act before we have time to think. So don’t click. Hang up. Call your credit union back at a number you know is legitimate. (Like the number on the back of your card.) And never let another person’s “emergency” force you into a financial decision before you’ve had time to verify what’s really happening.

We Money Like A Woman when we ask questions. Fraud prevention is no exception.

And remember: Having strong passwords on all your accounts, using 2-factor authentication wherever possible, and freezing your credit goes a long way in protecting yourself.

Estate Planning (For The People You Love!)

Many people think estate planning is about death, but it’s actually about making life easier for the people we love.

For example, a will can explain how you’d like your property handled and who should care for your children. A beneficiary designation indicates who should receive certain financial accounts when you pass. Powers of attorney allow someone you trust to handle financial matters if you can’t, and likewise, healthcare documents can help ensure your medical wishes are understood.

A little planning today can mean fewer questions, fewer difficult decisions, and a whole lot more peace of mind for everyone tomorrow.

Pillar #4 Takeaways

• Build your emergency cushion — start small, just start!
• Review your insurance coverage whenever your life changes.
• Protect your accounts with strong passwords and stay on your guard for fraudsters.
• Check your beneficiaries and get your estate documents in order.

Pillar 5: Strengthen Your Financial Community

Recognize that financial success grows through connection, support, shared knowledge, and helping create opportunities for others.

Money touches almost every part of our lives, yet many of us are still reluctant to talk about it. Unfortunately, when we close ourselves off from financial conversations, we lose one of our greatest resources: each other!

For example, partners need to be able to discuss shared financial goals, parents need to be able to talk about college budgets with their kids, and parents of adult children should feel comfortable discussing caregiving and estate plans. When it comes to friends, you don’t have to disclose your net worth over dinner, but you should be able to talk about things like salary negotiation, what that divorce actually cost, or how you’re handling your budget. The more we talk with one another, the more we can learn from each other — and build the kind of financial community where we feel comfortable asking questions, cheering one another on, and opening doors for others whenever we can.

Asking for Help Is a Sign of Strength

Remember back in Pillar #1 when we talked about the power of saying, “I don’t understand this yet. Can you explain it to me?”

That same rule applies here, because financial independence doesn’t mean financial isolation. At different points in our lives, we may need a financial advisor, accountant, attorney, credit counselor, mortgage professional, career coach or another expert who knows far more about a particular subject than we do. Knowing when you need help — and knowing how to find trustworthy help — is a financial skill!

Bring Another Woman With You + Giving The Next Generation A Head Start

One of the things we love most about women is how naturally so many of us share information: We tell each other which doctor finally listened to our pain, which daycare had an opening, which pair of pants is somehow flattering on everyone! So why wouldn’t we do the same thing with money?

If you negotiated a great raise, tell another woman what worked for you! If you finally figured out your 401(k), help a younger colleague understand hers. If you made an expensive financial mistake, consider sharing what you wish you’d known. You get the point. When we Money Like A Woman, we don’t gatekeep.

And when it comes to educating our children (and any members of the younger generation), know that they are watching every time we swipe (or tap) to pay, every time we say something is “too expensive,” and every time we make an impulse buy. They see what money does to us emotionally, which is exactly why it’s so important to give them the facts: Teach them to save, let them make spending decisions, and explain investing. Talk about why you’re saving for retirement or have them help you compare prices at the grocery store. Most importantly, let them grow up seeing adults talk about money without fear or secrecy.

Pillar #5 Takeaways

• Ask your parents whether their estate documents are in order.
• Tell your kids what you’re saving for — and why.
• Share what you learned the last time you negotiated your salary.
• If you have a partner, ask them what they want your financial life to look like 10 years from now.
• Tell another woman the financial lesson you wish someone had taught you five years ago.

What It Really Means to Money Like a Woman

Whew! We know these Five Pillars cover a lot of ground. But underneath all of it is one very simple idea: Money is a tool for building the life you want, and we always want you to have:

• Enough knowledge to make informed decisions
• Enough confidence to ask questions and advocate for yourself
• Enough intention to send your money toward the things you value
• Enough wealth to create security and choices
• Enough protection to withstand life’s inevitable surprises
• Enough community that you never feel like you have to figure all of this out alone

One day, you will have fewer questions than you do today, but we actually hope you always have some questions! That’s because Money Like A Woman isn’t a test you pass one day — it’s a way of approaching your financial life with curiosity instead of intimidation, intention instead of reaction, and preparation instead of fear.